So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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