This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
