I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
