How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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