well most of my day revolves around power hour
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
