Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Drunk is a universal language darling
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
