I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
