The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
They should really pass out barf bags in church
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
