Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
