It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
