Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
