are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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