yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
