Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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