addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
