The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
