oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
