A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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