He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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