hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
