Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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