I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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