Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
