I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
