if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
