Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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