just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
