If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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