i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
