Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
