if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just cropdusted the office
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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