He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm just crazy horny about you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
