Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
