you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
