Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
