Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
