I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
