Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
