My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
