did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
