and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
