So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
