I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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