we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
