I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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