conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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