i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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