can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
