did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
