i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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