one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
